EDITORIAL, OUR STORY — February 13, 2019 at 5:15 am

Why I find it hard to concentrate after Feb. 14

Photo by Nyan Clarke

In an already rigorous high school environment, my concentration has always been tested. However, when calculating in the the mass shooting that occurred at my school one year ago, I find it difficult to make it past five questions on my math test without having my mind override with thoughts of fears and doubts.

My most difficult times are when I am in the presence of the building where the massacre occurred. In my trigonometry class, if I look up for just one second to think of a possible equation, the building stares back at me. It’s a daunting sight, one paired with immediate fear and shaking. I quickly scan the room of places I would hide if the shooter ever came back, where my evacuation site would be and if I would be the student gunned down first based upon my location to the nearest window or door. I question myself: what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I stop looking?

I haven’t been able to pick up and read a novel in months following the shooting and even when I do, my mind dwindles off to the dark and crowded classroom I was hiding in on Feb. 14. It’s as if my mind takes over, and I go into autopilot. I am constantly distracted by my external stimuli, and I can no longer read the words on my paper.

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Leni Steinhardt is a member of the graduating class of 2020 and Co Editor-In-Chief for The Eagle Eye. She hopes to major in mass communication and journalism in college and later pursue a career in journalism. She is currently involved in numerous clubs and activities including Students Demand Action, National Association of Students Against Gun Violence, Girls Varsity Golf Team and is President of the English Honor Society. She is also the Family Relations Chair of Dance Marathon, Historian of her local BBYO chapter, Dance Moral Captain for the 2018 Dance Marathon, and freshman class senator. She is the recipient of the Underclassman award for Journalism and Newspaper in both her freshman and sophomore year. Leni has always been intrigued by the world of journalism and its importance in the world, especially in light of impactful events. Her enthusiasm for this as well as writing pushed her to apply for The Eagle Eye. The newspaper has shaped Leni as a person and especially in her career aspirations in journalism.

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